No post for July as I was hectic as hectic could possibly be. But I am back home and back to regular programming with one child in university and 3 homeschooling! Three weeks in Manila/ Quezon City, living in a condo on the 40th floor and ending each day exhausted, I am surprised that I feel recharged and ready! So the kiddos and I are picking up where we left off.
I like being prepare and its fun to interact with the kids when prepared. Back when I only had 3 babies, I was ready to answer my child who asked, "Mommy who do you love the most?" I explained that mommy's heart is not like a pizza. It can not be divide and so I can not say I love this child more than the other because/ and so she gets the bigger slice. Mommy's heart multiplies and gets bigger with every baby but mommy still has one heart. Like when you mix clay together. Once the clay is marbled you can not really take out the colors they are stuck together forming one big clay ball. And that's how mommy's heart is."
I did prepare for my eldest leaving home and now I think, I over estimated my sorrow! I know I left my heart walking around in Manila/ Quezon City because my eldest child is there, but I am not broken hearted. I am not sad and in despair. I miss her but my constant prayer for my children has been for them to be where God needs them to be, not where they want or I think they should be. I am feeling melancholic. It seems like every move I make these last few days brings back some memory. And there's a silence within me that is new to me and I can not explain. I don't feel bad but this territory is new to me. This sense of silence, I didn't see this coming.